Welcome To The Quarter-Life Crisis Of Millennials
I am telling this story from my perspective, being a perfect fit in this criteria it seems the only way to do it properly.
So, Millennials, also known as Generation Y are the people who have the ability to change the world but at the same time are the most self-destructive, insecure, and diffident youth of the present times.
A TIME magazine article stated like such on the behalf of Millennials: “They have trouble making decisions. They would rather hike in the Himalayas than climb a corporate ladder. They have few heroes, no anthems, no style to call their own. They crave entertainment, but their attention span is as short as one zap of a TV dial.”
Does This Strike You In Any Way?
Not so long ago I changed cities by being part of a study program abroad. When applying for this program I felt excited, happy, and couldn’t wait for this to happen, but as soon as I got closer and closer to the point of me actually leaving, I felt an urge to staying and not wanting to pack my bags and go anymore. I know this is what most people feel like upon leaving the country but for me somehow this state of mind was a constant thing that was happening over and over again and was out of my reach.
And now, you might think that if it was this hard for me to separate myself from my current situation then it surely must be the same way when it’s time to go back home, but I’ll correct you with this one because it’s not. Not this time.
Ever since I got to the amazingly beautiful and vibrant city of Budapest, a city that has indeed angel wings and you get this feeling like you could conquer the world just by walking on its streets, I felt the rush hitting me in the back of my head. However, this energy can sometimes be suffocating…well, for me this is what it felt like most of the times, and I have to admit it, I did not see this coming.
When I said I couldn’t wait for the actual program to begin and for me to able to leave the city, I meant it. In a way, this wasn’t just about the thrill of the chase but it was more about me running away from a certain emotional pain that was connecting me to the place from where I needed an escape and a breath of fresh air.
A breath of fresh air that I ultimately got by being here and by distancing myself from toxicity and from something that was draining me out. It’s amazing what a totally new environment and people can do. However, it’s been 3 months and all I can think about is how badly I want this to be over and to go home.
I’m not saying that I regret moving here because there is nothing that would suggest that I regret making this decision, partly because I know that at that time, this was exactly what I wanted and now, that I can see the end of the tunnel, it gives me a feeling of substantial contentment. It helped me grow.
“Seize the moment.”
You know that kind of people to whom you don’t talk for days/weeks or even months but when you finally do, it feels like home to your soul?
I was having a conversation with my cousin recently, and while you might think that if we are cousins and there isn’t a significant age difference between the two of us, we tend to talk every now and then, but truth be told it’s not always like this, and that is perfectly fine, because every time I open up to her I never feel different or distanced in any way, and that is a feeling of absolute joy.
She was asking me about how I was doing and what’s been going on in my life when I replied the following: “I can’t wait to go home.” — and the next thing I know is that she is giving me the deepest and the most meaningful conversation that felt like a hug. (Anna, I know you’re reading this).
The message of those words was aiming at the fact that this is my only chance to fully explore this opportunity and to be present. This is the moment when I either decide to embrace my current situation or to run from it in the hopes that it will pass sooner or later.
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But what does this story have to do with the ongoing quarter-life crisis that we are facing as we speak?
The answer to that is a lot. I wouldn’t have started writing it down if there was no link between the two. My point here is, that none of us know exactly what the heck are we doing and in which direction are we heading. I might find myself signing some papers to leave the city again, but once I’m already gone I might as well want to go back. In a world, where you can literally be anything you want, you sometimes find yourself bumping into a virtual wall with no heads-up ever given before.
I see creative and inspiring people every day, as I try my best to only surround myself with people who tend to bring out the best in me, but at the same time, those people are the most lost and insecure in what they do, how they look, how they feel and how other people will think of them. We have this constant pattern of self-criticism regarding everything we do in life.
Whether that’s selling lemonade on the street or whether we are currently trying to build an empire from scratch. We never stop comparing ourselves to others and feeling like we need other’s approval and appreciation in every single thing that we do. Because without it, we’d be lost.
The challenges our generation is facing are huge and are not understood by the older generations, hence our parents or grandparents because they never had to deal with a world that is speeding up on the highway like no other.
Every generation looks at the one behind them and thinks, “What’s wrong with kids these days?” This is how we will look 30 years from now. I hardly know one person who doesn’t give a flying damn whether she/he is being praised by other people or not.
We are double-checking our dreams, our goals, our aims, and feelings about everything that we do, then wonder why are we falling in the bucket of depression and why are we having anxiety attacks and trouble sleeping. Things shouldn’t be like this when you’re in your 20’s.
“Millennials are reporting the highest levels of clinical anxiety, stress, and depression than any other generation at the same age.” (Psychology Today)
We are all struggling, but somehow we are struggling to make it appear like we are not. Does that make any sense? To whoever asks me how’s life, I always end up responding that it has been greater than never. At least to most people. Why? We are programming thoughts in our brains so that if we keep saying them over and over again we might end up actually believing them.
“People think of their 20's as a competition,” says Penelope Trunk, co-founder of Brazen Careerist.
I often felt like the pressure of society and the people around me were taking up all the air left for me to breathe. Everybody seems to know better what’s good for you or how you should spend your formative years. As a result, you don’t have a choice but to keep pushing and pushing up until the point where you realize that you’ve done nothing for yourself and for your soul.
One thing I’ve learned: There is no right path to a perfect life. Career switches, new hobbies, heartbreaks, sleepless nights, and the feeling of not fitting anywhere are just a part of the process. It is the way it is because you let it happen, without realizing that you always, and mind you, ALWAYS, have a safety net behind you.
